The Game of the Mind

“What is your dream?” I was asked. We were taking a rest, looking on as the club bustled with swing dancing, when we found each other in a conversation. Andrei is a professional dancer, and learning that I was just a beginner, asked something I realized I hadn’t stopped to ask myself. What did I want to achieve with learning to swing? At the time, my preoccupation was with the basics. “I’d like to not feel as though I’m boring her! That’s my immediate dream. Any suggestions?” I asked mostly expecting a typical, “More practice,” or “Private lessons help,” or “Watch others to see what interesting moves you can emulate.” But instead of answering with one such advice, he offered me an entirely different lesson. “What is most important is that first you enjoy it. Add a pep in your step, a small something here and there; recover interest in even the basic moves. Sometimes we feel we are boring ourselves, and so we transmit that boredom to our partner. But when you are having fun, typically your partner enjoys sharing in your enjoyment and they have fun too. Usually; they always have a choice, of course.” Andrei was right. The remainder of that night was a lot more fun for me and for those who I danced with, despite nothing changing except a renewed intention to enjoy myself. A simple shift in preoccupation, away from satisfying the expectations of someone else and towards inviting them to share in something of my own.

I realized how surprising this was, that I had altered nothing really; only my invisible mind changed, and yet it affected visible realities outside of it. That’s incredible to me. How much of life boils down to being a mind game? How easy is it to believe something or other to be true, to be absolutely convinced of it, and yet to be wrong? How often does our self-comparison suffocate our will to grow, or failure rob us of enthusiasm before a new opportunity? How much is our procrastination over a given decision merely lost time, if in the end we could really be just as happy in either scenario? How influenced are our choices by subtle but convincing forces of impatience, pride, carelessness… or converesely of hope, responsibility, ambition, love? How much more productive and fulfilled could we be, if we perceived effort and challenge as symptoms of vitality and freedom? Does our education in these perceptions begin before we even learn words for them? How differently would the world be, if everyone were certain of a purpose for their life, and could act in accord with it? What games, music, movies, and relationships does our culture encourage, and how do they (or not) form these subtle forces of the mind? How lost in group think are we, without realizing it? Are we afraid to distance ourselves from those influences who chip away at our mind’s life? Are we afraid to draw closer to those who nourish it?

Frankly, a few too many questions for my own mind to consider all at once! But, there will be swing dance again next week… there will be another chance to learn something, and, perhaps more importantly, to share something.